It’s been a while since I’ve written, sorry [life happens.] But here lately I have been on a upcoming blog brainstorming and I think THIS is worth writing about.
I think relationships might be the most hated topic to talk about it. You’re either in one and it’s cloud 9 or you’re not, and if you’re not we sometimes fall under the lie that ‘love sucks,’ or ‘it doesn’t exist.’ BUT my question is why does it have to be one or the other?
Over the last couple weeks I obsessed. I obsessed for the perfect God driven relationship, which really was ‘me’ driven because I didn’t let go, I wanted in control of how that relationship [should have] turned out. (PROBLEM 1) I obsessed over what a perfect man for me would look like. I obsessed over who I thought I wanted to marry. I obsessed over something that I was forcing. Nothing good ever comes out of forced rushing.
Here are some things I learned from obsessing over what’s not meant to be.
1. Let it be
If it’s not meant to be, stop forcing it. Stop going back to who broke you. Stop trying to open a door that God has shut time and time again. Let life play out like God intended.
2. It’s okay to not be okay
I know this is a cliché line to say but it’s true. We get so caught up on the fact that we have to be okay, we have to be happy. Its abnormal to be broken and upset with life. When in all honestly, life is all about seasons. And there is a season for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3:1) Heartbreak will happen, it’s inevitable. Don’t wish the pain away, don’t try to rush the process of hurting. God uses our pain for our purpose, and if you’re hurting right now I know that’s REALLY hard to believe but trust me. There is purpose behind everything. So sweet friends, please know it’s okay to not feel okay, because I promise one day you will.
3. PLOT TWIST: you need anybody
All the boyfriends, friends who didn’t value you, all the people you thought you couldn’t live without? Guess what… YOU can. The hardest part about letting go of someone is being stuck on the idea that you ‘need,’ them in your life. Don’t you think the God of the universe KNOWS who should and shouldn’t be in your life. Not everybody in our life is destined for our eternity. We have to understand that. You don’t need somebody, especially people who don’t value you. You deserve people to better you. You deserve people who will chase after Jesus with you.
4. Being single is OKAY
It’s okay to thrive in your singleness, it doesn’t have to be your time of hurt just because you don’t have ‘your person.’ Before I had said I obsessed over a relationship and I did. I wanted so bad to be in a ‘good healthy,’ relationship that I was rushing what God intended to be a later. Single can be a blessing if you allow God to use you through your singleness. It can be a time where you grow closer to God, trust God. Being single can be a time where you are able to go and explore on your own. THRIVE in your singleness, make the best of it. Grow as a person so when God does bring that person into your life you are dependent on Jesus for your joy and contentment and not from a relationship.
I spent too much time obsessing over what could have been or what I was trying to force. don’t rush. if you’re in a hurry to be settled down, don’t. Trust God and His plan for you. If you’re hurting from heartbreak, it’s okay. It gets better, Jesus is better, much better friends, I promise. Be you, be on your own. Know your worth and your value, and don’t settle for anything less of Gods best for you. You were meant to thrive in this life, not just survive. Stop obsessing to rush the plan for your life. Gods got it. Be still.