Next Door

It all seemed so real. Your voice. Your laugh. God sent you to me in my dream and I’m forever thankful but also in grief because of it. I miss you more than my words could ever say. I want to say you were taken from me way too early but you could have lived to be 200 and I would still say you were taken too soon.

In my dream we were sitting at the park with butterflies all around (your favorite) and we simply did not have a care in the world, we laughed without fear of what lied ahead.

Waking up and knowing you aren’t really here with me is the worst part. Only the good lord knows what I would do for one last of your hugs.

Yes I know I’m not the only person that struggles with grief and death of a loved one, but where do we find peace the grieving of a loss? I always heard stories of amazing miracles where God cured cancer and there was no earth reason other than JESUS. I would be lying if I didn’t say that the question, ‘Why couldn’t you have worked a miracle on her God?’ hasn’t crossed my mind a couple hundred times, because it defiently has.

Psalm 43:5  ‘Why are you so down, Oh my soul, put your hope in the Lord.’

Mark 4:40 ‘He said to His disciples, “why are you so afraid? do you not have any faith?”

God doesn’t ask us not to grieve, he tells us to not fear about the loss of a loved one, he tells us to place all of our 6a528b2d10f78072f4d9f817411682a7

fear and worry at the foot of the cross. He tells us to put our hope in Him.

I’m a selfish human that would absolutely desire to have my loved one in heaven here with me in this messy world. (sounds a lot messed up when you say it aloud huh?) I would love to have my mamaw with me today, to see all the cool things I’m doing in college, but I do know she is with me even if its very distant. I know she’s twostepping in heaven with someone she’s been grieving for quite some time. I adore her and always will and there isn’t going to be a day where my heart doesn’t sink thinking about her, but I know I will get the chance hear that goofy laugh again. I love you forever Mamaw.

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